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  • Writer's pictureVanessa Brownbridge

Intro to book: excerpts from Cake, Loveplay, Santa, Maria and Cohappulations

Updated: Sep 29, 2022

Space Station: HODD SUBTLE: S.S.H.S

HODD Haven's Ordered Daily Delivered.

Now, at the very same time, one of the top tiered in Ranks, belonging to the higher echelons of Skye Castle and the Ruling Fey Classes had baked a simply, mysterious, marvelous cake with high magic written all over it, designed for her lover’s True Table. It was a truly complex ingredient and could only be consumed by those intended – never for another careless in tastes and had been carefully put out on a high ledge to cool, high out of reach and out of harms way.

The wandering Space Rats from ‘nowhere’, were canny weevils and base Prats and smelling something truly delicious, the thieves stole it and were planning to enjoy their ill gained heist, in best forgotten low places. Of course, the tinkers were completely undeserving of having their cake, so eating it was not on either. It was not their cake, nor was it tossed to them like common dogs and if the magic were to spill out onto indiscriminate tongues, disaster would fall upon all.

High honour magic was for true lovers only, forbidden for casual usage. Required by experts to source, leaven, and spell – it was nothing for goblin prats, warlocks, and their eels to steal and gobble. Naturally, as soon as the magic touched the wretches’ lips, they were parted from normal senses and fell about in a fitful stupor which transported them elsewhere in an instant and nowhere they knew. In split seconds they found themselves far from the Magical Place they had visited.

In his intoxicated state, the gang leader, a skillful resourceful creature, having had his cake and eaten it, wanted much more. The theft and consumption of the food of the Fey, had changed him forever and it drove him into an impotent frenzy of wanting more of this definitive substance, but when the cake was gone, the cake and the place they had stolen it, was gone too. They yearned for it, they wanted it – its lack made them hanker for it, even more so. The creatures desperate, were forced to seek out this enticing magical stuff, no matter the distance required to go.

Raw and primordial, their savage goblin chief had seen and tasted many wonderous things, and his mind dazzled in cravings for more became befuddled – and soon, he could not feel anything else. The desire and want of this special, heady food, caused the creatures to force their way out of the now devasted places of Space they left ravaged behind them, to seek more.

Long parted from the ways, they were feeling strangely mixed up, confused, wanting much, craving strange and the leader hastily gathered the surly band together, oddly divided as never before. Then with a good thunderous beating from him under mighty whiplashes of scorn, they set out the very next day to find him more cake. But curious things began to happen and some of them began to change.

The thief who gobbled the most cake a few days before, was the first to succumb to a transfixing, terrible high jinxing, which shook him raw, where he was sure, he was done for. And here was the weird and shameful thing – his great useful, powerful amazing tail, just fell off! Leaving him quite naked and helplessly, rudimentarily bare. . . he was weak. . .his rear end was painfully, wretchedly sore, particularly vulnerable and he felt beaten blue–black and purple.

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