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  • Writer's pictureVanessa Brownbridge

Intro to book: excerpts from Cake, Loveplay, Santa, Maria and Cohappulations

Updated: Sep 29, 2022

Space Station: HODD SUBTLE: S.S.H.S

HODD Haven's Ordered Daily Delivered.

Then when his great swinging tail came off clean in his hand, the others pointed and laughed or made rude gestures caterwauling, “Boss you look mo’ upright now! Like the big monkeys who made us that special cake and served it us too!” They hooted derisively, in wailing speech. Howling insanely, they hooted and cackled with strange, raucous laughter, but later that day, while poking fun. . . they were changing too! This stopped the others in their cackles as they looked at each other in change and that Awk’s business day grew the Space Knave and his monster thugs, features most Ugly – appropriate of warlock, gobbling troll.

Days later, dramatically changed; some were twice as tall as the others. Elongated they stretched doubly agitated and babbling roughly in pain in panic began shambling about recklessly. The hair on some was quickly fading away, a terrible sign of ill fortune, except for patchy bits here and there while on others it increased dramatically and the leader itched, cursed, gibbered, babbled, and choked on it then he signed a lot, which spread to most of the group.

In the throes of severe molt madness and sore sickness, they became ruthlessly aggressive and hopelessly demanding of the others, who had ingested less. Then the smaller ones refusing to ape madness got caught unawares and ended squashed to pulp under the others.

Changing into different, strange shapes, small ran from big, big ran from the small, then all ran from their leader. Sighting their reflections in the great bodies of water they saw themselves as the strange lands they had lit and ignited upon horrifying. Screaming, howling, yipping, and hollering like the lost, fleeing in terror, they leapt into the bushes. Hiding and whimpering, cowering naked in the underbrush, many tall ones climbed the green leafy poles in the great forest trees. Hanging halfway up in a death grip clinging to life and sanity, they gambled for life with new limbs and purpose while others hopelessly rooted on the ground then dashed about witless or fled.

The leader of this, fast disbanding group, was puzzled and furious at such treachery and would have chased them down, but he was icy hot, and his strange limbs were shaky and weak and more than anything, his naked butt hurt beyond irritation. Freezing foremost he just had to find a warm shadowed place to stay. In his darkened, restless, dream state and from his shallow, hollowed out cave, in the gloomiest places not of clean Sky or Good Earth, and from a place called Realms of Nowhere Special the craven leader saw many things he had no business seeing and lusted deeply for the things of Elsewhere. Those he could never taste again, nor could he ever know what was not his to know. Slowly they ate at him, gnawing deeply into his center.

Devoured by lust, Cake dreams, and his powerful creed of overrule, brutality, greed and rape strike he left only this to his coarse heirs.

Alas . . . that cake . . . it imbued them with stolen Magic that gave them terrible powers and too soon they found a beautiful pristine Earth and her All Peoples of Paradise and continued to tumble ever downward. In Cosmos a huge ugly BANG sounded, and something bigger caved in and wholly bottomed out!

Eager to get moved in, they began to conquer all they could survey. This created a hell so vapid and far below anything known it tanked out!

This was the beginning . . .

And as the fat ugly Awks devoured her – she began to Pray.

We asked! Who can these Asinine Warlock Knaves be? Mars, Venus, Uranus?

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